*grumbles*

I just don't know. I'm ok, you're ok. I have the idea it's all going better each week. Still some silly little relapses where I just want to nap and not do anything, but they don't disturb me. Pretty sure I'll be fine till kiddo leaves house to study and also sure by then I have figured out what to do with life. So what I do with miss therapy. It feels like I'm wasting the time of both of us, but might be same misplaced idea that I'm wasting time writing all this crap, lost the feeling it has a function other than just wanting to get attention (and also not sure it's the kind of attention that I want or need). But then again I do like attention and I like to talk and write. It's still sorta nice there's someone once a week who just sits there to listen to whatever (not sure it's that good I actually like that part). And not sure I want to go adventures machen in the direction she wants me to go. I'm too biased maybe or blind regarding some things that seem natural to others. I just don't see it and I'm rather fine with that, probably mostly because I don't know better. Is enlightenment really better. Miss therapy claims that my life would improve if I wouldn't kill my emotions (or argue them away). Not sure I'm up to delving into that, since I don't see how that would make me feel better about anything.
Also I totally lost track again. Too many different (yet so the same path) thoughts that want to get out, multitasking sometimes so isn't a blessing. So I guess I whine over blogwriting another time, since misstherapytasks keep getting annoyingly on the foreground. And I don't want to think about emotions from the past (when I still got blown away by them).

disillusion
caught me
autumn fog