Rejoice for I can sleep without booze

Full nights. Admittedly I'm still tired daytime and wake up feeling exhausted a bit, but real sleep. I can has it. Together with better sleep my dreams seem to be less vivid too. Maybe that's because I refuse to think about the past for this week. Or maybe deeper sleep lets me miss most of them now. Going to bed at nights sober without lying awake for hours. Not even feeling the need to ponder about drinking some so I can maybe sleep for a few hours. Not counting the hours after dinner anymore for when it would be okay to have a drink. In fact I haven't been thinking about it much these past evenings. I just don't seem to feel like it anymore. So here I am sitting with a bottle of good whiskey next to my seat and not touching it. Odd or rather a bit of a new feeling after all these months of drinking. And yes I had to check if it was plain laziness to not drink (no way I'm gonna get up and walk all the way to the cupboard to fetch me a drink) or just no more need for it. I guess the drive is gone. Less need to stop my mind going around in circles, less need to simply kill time or make sure I don't do anything foolish.
Not sure if I was (or still am!) an alcoholic of some sort (even though I kept denying that (wasn't that a sure sign of being one?)), but I don't think it really matters. Pondering this just amuses me. Also I kinda hate thinking I need something. No booze = no sleep wasn't really making me happier. All seems to be going better in my little bubble. Going outside and socialize still makes me tired, but I don't collapse that much anymore when coming home nor do I nap anymore after. Will see how that sorts out after school starts again and I unleash some anger at it. Not sure if it's wise to start trouble now with me not being very stable emotionally, but then again I haven't been emotionally stable for probably all my life nor do I have any hopes I will get there or even if it's achievable.

Also I know I'm a bit chaotic in my lasts posts (more than normal that is) and also not very productive as of late. One of my favorite dutch writers wrote that happy people make lousy writers. He was right.