They depress me.
And I should probably leave it at this.
And I should probably give some of them more credit. Or maybe all of them. They try (or so I assume (although assumptions are reallyreally bad (but more about that some other time maybe))). They can't help it they are limited by their experience, the system, their education and their personality. And that has to match with the people they are trying to help. But that doesn't really help me.
And since I don't know what will help me (should I mention flamethrowers again?) they're probably a bit in the dark too. But I can't blame them for that. Maybe that's the whole problem, I'm nuts and I can't really put the blame anywhere. I'm filled with rage and I can't unleash it anywhere.
Which brings me back to depressing therapists. I have to lie to them. Which somehow doesn't feel right. But I'm scared they connect non-common behavior to the problem or make it into a problem or the problem. Even if some behavior is a symptom, I don't think it has to be fixed, since fixing the problem should fix the symptom. But going in therapy doesn't mean I lost my ability to think. I know what I am, I know how I react, I know what is part of the problem or not. The only thing I need help with is to find out how to fix my problem(s). So it's tiring and depressing to run into the therapists that are stuck on things they see as problems while I don't see them. And it takes too much effort mostly to get on a level where we are past that.
And I'm not able to have a coherent post about this right now.
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I have yet to meet a therapist who does more good than harm. Haven't tried flamethrowers yet, but the idea sounds appealing.
ReplyDeleteI prefer chainsaws, always.
ReplyDeleteIt bothers me that just managing to get through a psychology university degree does not actually make the psychologist a more intelligent - or insightful - or even socially skilled - person than the patients they are then tasked with helping.
They can't harm you really. They can just label and suggest. Your mind and the internet (sometimes google isn't your friend) can do that just as well if not better.
ReplyDeleteWhat bothers me mostly about them is not the lack of intelligence or insight after their study, it's how they face the people coming to them. They observe (I hope they do!), they diagnose, then they can answer everything.
If you don't agree, you're not ready to help yourself or get helped by them or you are in denial. In all cases the case is closed.
It is nice to have a name for my oddness, but I didn't come for that, I want something that can help me out of the parts of oddness which I find disturbing.