Morality and me.

I has it. But it's mine. Or maybe the title is wrong wording, I don't know. The point is that people seem to use normative ethics while I use descriptive ethics (yes I blatantly stole that from the wikipage about morality). I know that what I consider good or bad is personal. And I like to keep that logical. My actions (and those include my intentions and decisions) are based on what I think benefits me. That might be very egoistical, but I've claimed for years that all actions are. I just think that I'm more honest about it, or see it more clear that way. No matter what good deed you can always distill an egoistical personal beneficial reason behind it.
I feel good when you feel good, hence it's beneficial to try make you feel good.
I don't break the laws of the society I live in. Not because I think the normative ethics that formed those laws are mine, but because I don't want the punishments that are related to breaking those laws. Which is also tied to what I consider my obligation or responsibility. Within my own morality you have to take the responsibility for your own actions. So that means no breaking laws till kiddo can do without me. Also no falling apart till then. Weighing consequences. I see no wrong in whatever seems to be morally wrong (according to the society I live in) to protect myself and my kin. Lying, cheating, stealing, manslaughter.
Which leads me to those things that I have learned to name friends. I can do without mostly. Being human means I like some forms of contact, but there isn't much that I can't have with anyone else. So I seem to be stuck with weighing invested time versus annoyance-level. I think I can accept a lot of things other people consider problems since I don't relate them to me mostly, only thing that counts is how comfortable I feel around certain people and what I want from them. Which means I stick too long around some just because invested time keeps outweighing the uncomfortable-level and also means I might be ditching people too fast because of that. And well, to get back on topic!, the people that I cut contact with are the ones that give me the idea way too often that I have to justify my actions to. Explain the why over and over. I can't do that. I go confused and I quit. It also finally gave me the insight of all the people I lost contact with over the years. They either cut contact with me because they couldn't find any mutual ground (or respect) between us anymore or the other way around. Or I (or them) let it bleed to death since it was too tiresome to restart again from scratch after x time. I'm not very good with maintaining a certain level of contact and I want everything to be sorta frozen in time while there is no contact so we can just keep going where we left.
You can disagree with my intentions/decisions. I understand you # me. I just can't handle the implication/accusation that you # me means I am wrong. There is no wrong or right. There is just personal opinions (or feelings if you want to phrase it like that).

autumn storms sweeping
leaving no leaf on trees, how
can you fight seasons