Is this really what it all boils down to? Trauma, brain altering, fixed patterns, broken connection.
Fight, flight, freeze.
There has to be a way to change it. Also how did this manage to go so unnoticed by everyone. Also have to evaluate the meds, again.
They keep me soothed (I guess that's the right phrase here), which in itself isn't so bad. Yet I still panic when I have to consider certain things, like finding work, fitting the real role of my parents in. If! (unacceptable though) this is just the way it is, then I don't think I want to swallow pills the rest of my life, since it just won't change anything. Knowing what part is broken, how it got broken will have to do then, which I consider a huge bonus already after all these years of guessing what was wrong (or different! let's not judge this) with me. So if, I will cut down meds again and see how that works.
Hum, either way meds seem to be useless.
So now we have to figure out how to repair or bypass this. Back to reading about brains I guess.
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