Apparently I do have ambitions - part 2

You can't purposely change something if you don't question it. Rotate it, view it from every possible angle.
And I'm so used to questioning people's actions, including my own. I think I can ignore most instant judgments and just look at them. Which makes reasoning more easy. But so far I only did when my own actions/reactions caused problems. Why why why why why?
So slow in making the right connections sometimes. When I still worked I told people I'm a monkey, show me how something has to be done, give me the exact way of how to do it and I will memorize and do it. I don't need to understand it, but I can reproduce that exact way till kingdom come. Over time when more data gets in at some point I will start to understand what I'm doing and what for and then I will take your exact way and make it more efficient. I guess that's what I do with everything. It also helps me being able to do something at all. Whenever stress hits I go back to the basic need of knowing what exactly is expected from me and follow the old paths. Why I freeze if I don't know.

So we're still back at testing to add more data. I hope all med effects have gone by now. Awake-sleep-dreaming is back too. Not sure what happens in that state, but I hear things that aren't there, I think-dream that I do something that I don't, I see things happening that aren't either. And it's about semi-instant when I doze off. It's some weird hallucinating dream-state. I went for quick nap yesterday at 15.35, kiddo came home at 16.18, I had checked clock at 16.05 even and then I dozed off. I am positive I was talking to someone on irc about a mage he had just fortsieged to death (the mage in question is still alive and kicking, the person I talked with about that isn't even fishing), I then had a talk with kiddo who wasn't home yet and then at 16.18 I heard her come up the stairs, which indeed was what she was doing. A few days ago I was napping and was very positive that I heard my phone ring and that kiddo walked to comproom to pick it up (that was assumption since the phone stopped making sound), I dozed some more and asked her later who called. Apparently she hadn't heard the phone and there were no missed calls. I am clueless.

I have had extensive talk with kiddo about my behavior in hopes to make her less stressed, since stress might be causing some of her random waasicktired. If we add in there might be a clear relation between stress and physical pain (and yes, moving to that conclusion in a rapid pace now), we can be done with fixing kiddo by lowering her stress. So! I will try force feed her less, but increase food around her, I will control any urge to interfere whenever her friends make her cry (gawd, crying kiddo is instant stress for me). Kiddo will still avoid me whenever she notices I'm stressed. Will see how this works. But told her a bit more background of my waa and also why I'm trying different things, including just having the stress. Can't form correct opinions if you don't know what you're talking about no?