Thank you all for whatever mental support you have given. It has no meaning for me (no offense), but I appreciate it. There is no need to feel sorry for me (or better phrased maybe is, don't stress yourself over this), since that is not going to change anything. Indeed, some bad stuff happened, but you can never undo the past. I don't need a shoulder to cry on (well maybe I do, but I can find that if I feel I need it).
I've used some of you lately (or maybe I have always done so) and probably will do more to bounce my thoughts on, something I need to form conclusions and solutions. At this moment I will ignore anything that I feel is not helping me in fixing this. I think I know what I need and I will get it, I have not enough strength to keep my sanity if I focus on something else.
I'm happy in a very sad way that I finally have most of the answers I craved for all those years. That I'm starting to make sense to myself. I don't know if I can handle all implications, time will tell no?
For those that know me longer than today and I consider friends, I hope that you understand that some things I have done and said that hurt you in some way were never meant to hurt you. I had no way of explaining properly how I just had to do some things or wasn't able to do other things, without breaking apart myself. I have done a lot to avoid having to look back in memories. So thank you for sticking up with me.
Now it's time to fix stuff.
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